The art of making a woman come often seems like rocket science to some – including herself. Female pleasure is a mystery: as hard as they try, some men and women can’t bring their partner to orgasm. What can you do about it? We have compiled the best tips for you.
Make a woman come
“I love this woman,” he thinks and his eyes light up. We are very happy together and plan our future together. There’s just this one thing… For me, our sex life is very fulfilling. She says she feels the same way, but she almost never has an orgasm. I would love to help her climax regularly. But how do you make a woman come?
These thoughts are shared by many men who also want to make their partners happy in bed. After all, studies show that men experience an orgasm during sex significantly more often and reliably than women. But this “orgasm gap” is no reason to despair. Many women enjoy sex with their partner 100%, even if they don’t come during it. It’s not the few seconds of climax that make for fulfilling lovemaking, but the passion, closeness, security and pleasure you experience.
No one owes another an orgasm – as simple as that may sound, it is subconsciously anchored in many minds. The desire to be able to make the woman come is understandable, yet it should not build up unnecessary pressure to perform on both sides, let alone cause a guilty conscience when you have come yourself but your partner has not. And if you already realize that it’s not going to work out, then it’s advisable to stop instead of rubbing her sore. These are often the moments when women tend to act Oscar-worthy and would rather fake an orgasm to their beloved than continue looking into his expectant face. And let’s face it, acting outside of an erotic role play belongs in Hollywood and not in our bedrooms!
The reasons why an orgasm fails to occur are varied – in the rarest cases, orgasm problems are physically caused. Often stress, pressure, discomfort or simply the wrong technique are the reason. Women should not place the responsibility for their climax solely on the man or their partner. In the sense of “the woman is herself”, everyone can actively do something for her orgasms. This once clarified, there is of course also for the men so much to consider. We explain you tips, tricks and tools that favor a female orgasm.
How to bring a woman to climax
The foreplay: Good things take time
Essential for an orgasm during sex is foreplay. Kiss, caress and touch her where she likes it. Many women find kisses on the neck, nape and ears arousing. The majority of women are more aurally aroused than visually, which means that even a little dirty talk can work wonders. Unlike men, women also like to leave some things to the imagination during sex – glaring neon lights to be able to see everything don’t have to be. Many women like it when their nipples are stimulated. Gentle stroking, tickling and licking goes down better than impetuous nibbling and kneading. Some women can even reach orgasm through intense stimulation of their buds. While your lips are still busy with her breasts, your fingers can slowly advance to more southern areas. But here, too, don’t fall with the door into the house right away – after all, you knock beforehand!
Even just stroking over her panties can be very arousing. Gently driving around her vagina increases the anticipation even more. Do you feel that she is already wet? Then use this moisture and caress her clitoris. Not before! The clitoris is a highly erogenous zone with twice as many nerve endings as the tip of the penis. This can give you an idea of how rough and dry rubbing on the sensitive pearl can feel. If a woman has problems getting wet, lubricant is your friend and helper. Important: Always “listen” to her body language! If she stretches her pelvis towards you and even opens her legs a bit more, it’s a good sign and she wants more. Maybe even more speed or pressure. If a woman pulls her pelvis back, you should quickly shift down a gear.
Oral sex: The supreme discipline
Whether it’s an appetizer, main course, or dessert, oral sex is one of the best ways to make a woman come. Although we colloquially call it “licking,” good oral sex is much more than that. Gentle kisses, light sucking, and alternating movements of the tongue are more exciting than monotonously unambitious licking of the clit. Dexterity can and should also be used during oral sex. To do this, it is best to gently insert the index and/or middle finger into her and stimulate her G-spot, which is located a few centimeters behind the vaginal entrance in the direction of the abdominal wall, by applying continuous, gentle pressure in addition. Instead of a finger, you can also use a dildo with a specially shaped G-spot tip.
Are you sure she is open to anal play? Then a finger that additionally stimulates the anus can be another “success factor” on the way to her orgasm. But here you should not act hastily! A surprise attack on her backdoor will send her pleasure curve plummeting with fright. If she is on the verge, you can do exactly what you are doing – changes in tempo and technique are now undesirable.
Sexual intercourse: Oldie but Goldie
Sex is not just the penetration of the vagina with the penis. Just because you’re having intercourse doesn’t mean that stroking, licking and caressing the clitoris is over. The clitoris is not a foreplay organ! So always include the female pleasure giver during sexual intercourse. Various studies show that only about a third of all women climax through penetration – so penetration alone is often not enough to make a woman come. No matter which position you prefer – the clitoris is almost always accessible with her or his fingers. Here you will find more sex positions that will inspire you to change positions.
Always keeping this in mind, you can now pamper women in a variety of ways and bring them to climax. Often, slow but firm thrusts that create a lot of friction are preferred to rabbit-tempo sex. Variety is also a must: Sometimes gentle, sometimes hard is the secret ingredient in the orgasm brew.
Once you’ve found the best position and the optimal thrusting rhythm together, more extras can come into play. Some women like it when you grab their hair vigorously, others love it when their wrists are fixed (with restraints or simply by holding them) and many women like to hear compliments during sex. “You have such beautiful eyes”, however, works like Valium. Rather tell her during sex how hot her tits are or how horny it makes you when she rides you. Clear words instead of honey-sweet Säuselei! Also biting and scratching can additionally heat up and help to bring a woman to climax.
